Recognizing burn out before ya get burned

As I sit to write this, I take a deep breath in through my nose, out through my mouth. I notice the tension in my shoulders, the tightness of my jaw, and the somewhat restlessness of my mind. I reset, again, breathing in the smell of my peppermint tea, breathing out the stress of the day. It’s a cloudy Friday in November. Fridays are supposed to be a day of self-care. A day without to-do lists or any other stressors that invade my life. Fridays are a day for me.

Yet here I sit. Fidgety. Tense. Restless. Mind flitting from one task to another. Feeling completely overwhelmed and regretting my decision to get out of bed at all.  I playback my previous week and I notice a pattern. Every day, for the last week, two weeks, month, maybe even the past nine months, has felt like this. The days have dragged on and on but also never slowed down. Each day running from task to task, praying for it to end, while also bartering for more time.

I take another deep breath. In: 1, 2, 3.  Out: 1, 2, 3, 4. Relax my gaze. Release my tongue from the roof of my mouth. Roll my shoulders back and down. Opening my heart space, I ask myself: “What do I need, from me, today?”

Several thoughts race through my head, “sleep,” “yoga”, “friends,” “a good book.”  I notice how wonderful these things sound but also how much energy they require. I’m too tired to do any of it.

So now the question becomes, “how did I get here?”.

Recognizing burn out is a tough thing. We pride ourselves on productivity and feel embarrassed when we are overwhelmed. Through my work as a therapist, I’ve learned the importance of recognizing and admitting burn out (I’ve also had to sit with my own tendencies of self-neglect).  Before you can treat a symptom, you must first identify the cause. Knowing the warning signs of burn out can help you avoid a total system break down. This will allow you to shift energy from projects and to yourself before it’s too late.  

Here are some of the signs:

1.      Increased irritability. Maybe you’ve noticed yourself getting frustrated over little things. The line at the grocery store,  yellow lights that turn to red way too quickly, little pet peeves that suddenly feel like a declaration of war. 

2.      Fidgety, fumbling, forgetful. You’ve spilled your coffee, dropped your phone, left your mask at home. You’ve missed important emails, forgotten your kiddo’s soccer practice. You’re juggling, but everything seems to fall.

3.      Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. We all love to scroll, but you can’t seem to put down your device. Any electronic device. You look up, half the day is gone. You’ve watched a full season of Schitt’s Creek (worth it) and your social feed can’t refresh anymore. Oops.

4.      Nothing glitters or glows. Your boss praises your big presentation, your partner surprises you, your friends shower you with love and it all goes unnoticed.  You’re unable to see the flowers for the weeds.

5.      Everything hurts. You’ve had a headache for the past week, your stomach is in knots, the crick in your neck will not quit. Emotions, including stress, live in the body. All of these are cues that you’re worn down and need rest. 

If any of these hit home, I empower you to take a deep breath in and out. Relax your gaze. Release your tongue from the roof of your mouth. Roll your shoulders back and down. Open your heart space and ask, “what do I need, from me, today?”. And give it.